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"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks." 

Joe E. Lewis

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"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” 

George Burns

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“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” 

Mark Twain

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“A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.” 

Jackie Gleason

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"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication." 

Lord Byron

“Testimonials work great. Showing your reviews in quotes has a powerful effect on customers and makes them trust you.”

— Name, Title

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"Where there is no wine there is no love." 

Euripides. Greek Playwright. 480–406 BC

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"An apple is an excellent thing until you have tried a peach." 

George du Maurier

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“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” 

Ogden Nash

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." 

Dean Martin

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"One more of these martinis and I fear I won't be a lady." 

Kiana English

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"The best drink I've ever had was a mojito in St. Barts at Nikki Beach. That drink changed my life."

Sarah Carter

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"Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita."

Maxine

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"I am silently judging your beer selection!"

Unknown

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“I’m the Dude, so that’s what you call me. That or, uh His Dudeness, or uh Duder, or El Duderino, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.” The Dude- The Big Lebowski

The Dude-The Big Lebowski

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“I like to have a martini, two at the very most –After three I’m under the table, After four, I’m under my host.”

Dorothy Parker

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"To warm you up on cold days, there's nothing better than a hot toddy...or whatever you call your guy."

Maxine-Crabby Road

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"I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine."

William Shakespeare, As You Like It

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"A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her." 

W.C. Fields

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“Whisky is liquid sunshine.”

George Bernard Shaw

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“Everybody has a soulmate. But they're usually on the other side of the bars, or the wall, or the planet from you. That's the way the universe works.”

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“Prozac, Schmozac, Hasn't anyone ever heard of a Martini?”

Unknown

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"Drink freely the wine life offers you and don’t worry how much you spill."

Marty Rubin

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"My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror."

Rodney Dangerfield

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"There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking."

Benjamin Franklin

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"When Life Gives You Lemons...Get Drunk!"

J. Johnson

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"If the drinks don't make you happy then what's the point?!?!"

Twist On It

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“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

Ernest Hemingway

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"I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast."

W.C. Fields

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"If I had one wish it would be to have the ability to lose weight as fast as I lose my dignity and self respect after 3 drinks."

Rebel Circus Quotes

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"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."

Elizabeth Taylor

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"If I had one wish it would be to have the ability to lose weight as fast as I lose my dignity and self respect after 3 drinks."

Rebel Circus Quotes

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"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."

Elizabeth Taylor

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"If I had one wish it would be to have the ability to lose weight as fast as I lose my dignity and self respect after 3 drinks."

Rebel Circus Quotes

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"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."

Elizabeth Taylor

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"May your coffee kick in before reality does."

Unknown

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“No amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”

David Sedaris

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"No good story starts with, 'I was drinking milk and...'"

Unknown

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"The doctor said I needed to drink more whiskey. Also, I call myself  "The Doctor" now."

 

 

 

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.""

Henny Youngman

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"The next forecast with the words ice and salt better be a damn margarita recipe!!"

Unknown